My Master is going to beat me. I don't know exactly when, and I am not even 100% clear as to why. Yet, it has become clear to both of us that this is what is going to happen. We both need to clear the air.
I'm terrified. I haven't been seriously beaten in a very. long. time.
It makes sense, our dynamic has more or less taken a backseat to the events of the last couple of years. First, Master and CC were changing and having issues and most of the focus was there. Then, they were splitting and the focus was there. It's really been at least two years since we've been focused on each other and our dynamic in any real way.
For a highly dramatic and whiny account of the unraveling of our poly family you can read backwards on my personal blog. For the purposes of this post, it's enough to know that CC has decided to go her own way, and the last year has been spent largely on this change in family status.
There are a lot of things that are different now. I am not sure we will ever be back to that "pure" Master and slave dynamic we had in years past, but it's certainly a goal of ours. Running a household and supporting each other through a painful breakup has changed things in ways neither of us would have guessed. It put a huge amount of stress on each of us individually and on our relationship. There have been moments when I was not at all sure we were going to make it together.