As Pablo and I were getting ready to leave today, him for work and me for a day of studying with a friend in her new office at a nearby university, I started searching for a book. Not just any book but Methodology of the Oppressed by Chela Sandoval. It had been recommended as vital to my research by two different people last year. So naturally I'd ordered it from Amazon and then put it out of my mind. But today I knew I needed to start outlining it.
It was missing. I looked and looked for at least 10 minutes before finally and frantically telling Pablo that my book wasn't anywhere. So he started looking too. We don't have a very big apartment, but there are many places a book can hide. Of course when we moved 18 months ago, Pablo spent a long afternoon helping me organize my academic books by a combination of subject and author (I have a LOT of books) so exactly this sort of situation would be avoided.
Continue reading "Unexpectedly Upturned" »
I'm recovered from surgery now. My body is feeling pretty good and my brain is as good as it's ever been. Which of course isn't saying much. Stress is a bit high, but tolerable.
I've known for a few months now it was time to talk to Paul about bringing more structure back into our relationship. Or, more specifically, into my life. We were doing pretty well with it in February but my surgery and recovery took us away from that. Paul's far too sweet to hold me accountable when I'm not feeling well. He took such good care of me.
About a month ago I had the conversation. Do you know the one? It's tough. It's when I ask for more accountability. More close supervision. More structure. The conversation went well and I was happy that he'd been thinking about that too. I was about to go away for a week so we decided (he asked and I agreed) to write my thoughts on what I needed and a plan. I agreed to that too. But I didn't write it.
Continue reading "Too Undisciplined For Discipline?" »
I'm going to start by saying I'm sorry. And yes, I am going to try and sell you an antique hairbrush.
I'm sorry I haven't been posting here more. There's been a lot going on in Pablo and my real lives related to work, immigration frustrations and the like. But the worst is over and I suspect in the next month I'll have a lot more to say here.
I hope so anyway.
Continue reading "All This Quiet and Now an Ad?!" »
It's been quiet here lately, for reasons I'll get to later. But in the quiet, someone asked:
"How exactly did the 6 of you meet, discover your joint interest in spanking and decide to set up this blog?"
Continue reading "FAQ Question 1: Why the blog?" »
I guess this title makes it sound like my 80s childhood is showing. But really, it's Tasha's fault. The title of this entry I mean. Not anything else -- though now that I think about it, I'm sure someone could find something to blame her for. Apparently after eight years of posting, writing erotica, chatting, not to mention my real life activities, I've reclaimed my spanko virginity. My pain threshold is lower than I ever remember it being.
Continue reading "Like a Virgin" »
Does discipline and punishment work for me? This is probably a question for the site FAQ (er, when we get around to writing one). It's something that has come up in the Usenet group we've all been part of (alt.sex.spanking and its successor soc.sexuality.spanking). Can any adult, especially an adult with a spanking fetish (which I feel safe in saying all of the blog authors have to some degree or other) be punished by spanking and have that punishment work to change their behavior?
My answer: Yes, no, sometimes and it depends.
Does that make sense?
Continue reading "So does it work?" »
So last night I posted that I wouldn't be on-line today (Sunday) and that I was to be punished but didn't know what would happen. Pablo has done a number of different things to punish me over the years we've been together. I suspected it would involve pain and my bottom, but also wondered what else might be done.
Frequently the "what else" is the hardest part.
All day yesterday I seemed to be pretending tomorrow (today) was Monday rather than Sunday. Sunday is our traditional day for accounting the past week and planning the next. And this was an accounting I feared, while at the same time I was also afraid that maybe Pablo was going to tell me that since I wasn't putting in any effort, we were going to once again put the idea of discipline (I like sparkle's term "methodic discipline") on hold for a while. You see, one of the things we've discovered is that Pablo can't pull me along (at least not very far or very often). He can be very effective at pushing me back on track, but the primary motivation must always come from inside me.
This week it hasn't.
Continue reading "A Sunday in Disgrace" »
Domestic Discipline, Corporal Punishment, Discipline and Punishment, Parental Spankings, Masculine Authority, D/s, BDSM, WIIWD, Guardian / child, so many terms and still I can't find one I like....
My partner Paul and I were talking a few nights ago about we'd call what we do. I told him I'm not fond of the term "domestic discipline" because it carries too much "male authority" baggage with it. I used to talk about him as my "guardian" but that carries the sense of me not being an adult, which I am. On some other sites, I cringe a little at the thought of using the term "Head Of Household," especially put into caps. I'm not down on it for someone else, but it's so not us. Not me, not Paul. We've definitely always been partners. And that's the way our relationship should be, maybe even more now that we're married.
Continue reading "What do you call it?" »
Even though it was my idea to write these introductions, I've found lots of reasons to avoid doing my own.
I'm in my 30s, a Chicana feminist scholar and live with my partner (er, guess that's "husband" now) in Southern California. We met in 1997 via the usenet group alt.sex.spanking (now soc.sexuality.spanking) and had a long- distance relationship for much of the first six years. We both write spanking fiction which isn't here, but can be found on our website The Treehouse. Mija isn't my legal name, but has been my "real" name in the spanking fetish since my very first post. Eight years later it feels plenty "real."
Continue reading "Punishing Mija" »
Monday night I couldn't sleep. Tuesday dawned with me playing Snood and checking my email. At 4:30 AM there was dreadful news.
A library notice. A second library notice. Though I swear, I never got the first one.
Overdue library books are not a happy thing for me. :(
Continue reading "Overdue" »
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