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Member since 04/2004

But what's in it for you?

Chris (of sparkle and Chris) and I have been having a conversation lately about what he as a top gets out of the punishment dynamic.  We thought it made for an interesting post, since we talk a lot about what the bottom gets out of a discipline/punishment arrangement, but we don’t hear about the other side very often (or if we do, it’s from an unrealistic Tops Are Superior Creatures perspective).  So we compiled our discussion into a post and present it here for your reading pleasure.  It’s not a complete, polished dissertation, it's rather unfinished and in process, in fact, but we’re very interested in your thoughts on the matter.

Continue reading "But what's in it for you?" »

Posted by iris_731 on 08 October 2010 at 06:16 PM in Discipline, Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)

Nowhere to go

I am only recently starting to get back my spanking mojo after an extended hiatus for pregnancy- and postpartum-related issues.  Physically I was unable to bend over or absorb heavy blows when my belly got big enough, and then healing from my c-section meant that I was restricted for similar reasons.  And emotionally/hormonally, I just wasn't there.  Spanking didn't fire me up, intrigue me, or even really occur to me.  Every once in a while I would think about it, but more in a passing sense.  For a while I was ok with this break: I was exhausted, we had company, and the duties of motherhood and work were far more pressing. 

After several months, though, I began to long for that part of myself.  I missed the fire, the sparkle, the desire.  I wanted to feel like me again.  Still, nothing.  I worried that motherhood had completely changed me, had replaced those fiery, sassy, desiring parts with nurturing, responsible, mechanical parts.

Continue reading "Nowhere to go" »

Posted by iris_731 on 06 September 2010 at 10:35 AM in Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)

Someone Else's Fantasy

There are very few things about one's body that feel sexy when one is pregnant.  There are even fewer after delivery.  (Gi-normous breasts excepted.)

Actually, I had a fairly strong libido during pregnancy.  What we couldn't enact in real life got pushed into my head and I was able to get some satisfaction from vivid fantasies, close proximity to M, and a good vibrator.  In the three weeks since our son's birth, though, I haven't been able to orgasm once.  Part of this is due to the rigors of new parenting and the simple lack of opportunity.  But even when I have a few stolen moments to myself, or M and I have a rare minute together, I can't come.  The desire is there, but my body can't get on board. 

It has also been a loooong time since I've been spanked, for punishment or pleasure.  M has given me a few swats here and there, but intense physical play has been off the table for a while now and will be for a while to come (c-section incision has to heal first).  

But even though I can't play and I can't come, that doesn't mean my life is completely devoid of kink.  In fact, I've experienced lots of kinky things since becoming a mother.  None of them happen to correspond to anything I like, but in the spirit of making lemonade out of lemons, I'm trying to have a sense of humor about it.  Here are a few of them:

Continue reading "Someone Else's Fantasy" »

Posted by iris_731 on 15 February 2010 at 07:32 AM in Iris, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

Blast from the past

I've been sick in bed for the last few days, which isn't fun at the best of times, but is particularly unfun when one is pregnant at the same time.  Not only is the list of approved medications limited, it's difficult to get comfortable with a bowling ball strapped to one's middle.  But I digress.  At one point last night, I was starting to feel a little bored (always a good sign), so I dug out old journals and settled in to read.

These are journals from late college and early adulthood, maybe 7-10 years ago.  In other words, just the period of time when I was figuring out my kink and coming to terms with it.  I was surprised (and sometimes amused) to read what I wrote and thought some of it might be interesting here.

This is the first entry where I addressed the issue head on, though there are other places where I alluded to it and even (bravely!) wrote the word spank in black and white.  But this entry comes about 10 months after breaking up with my college boyfriend, the first man I ever played with.  Also, bear in mind that this was from the very early days of internet (at least for me), so I had yet to find much of a real community or have any real conversation with anyone about the subject.

What is this obsession that drives me sexually?  Where on earth did it come from?  A year ago, I might have added: why me?

I am a spankophile.  I crave dominant men who will spank me sexually, spank me when I misbehave, and love this raw, unbidden part of my soul.  I want to brat my way into trouble and know that someone is there to enforce boundaries and love me no matter what.

When I first realized that this was sexual for me, I shied away, scared of what it meant.  Later, as I began to explore it and even share it with E
[college boyfriend] I was embarrassed and shy about my desire while needing it nonetheless.  Now, while I would still never share the secret with anyone but the most intimate, I embrace it.  It gives me a deep, rich, dark, silty facet, a branch of my soul and being that only two people in this whole world know about and only one understands.  E never quite got it, but for a vanilla he certainly converted pretty well.

One of the most complicated parts about my spankophilia is the lack of control.  I want to submit, yet I have to find the right person to give that gift.  Someone I trust completely, who would never abuse the gift.  At the same time, though, there are men who look at me and make my insides liquid and make me want to obey.  K is that way sometimes--I can feel sparks fly when he's around because the air is so charged.  T's eyes do that too.  They pierce me and I feel like one stern look from him could make me come on the spot.  ...

But could I honestly sleep with either one of them?  No matter how much chemistry I wonder if there wouldn't be something to hold me back.  And that's only sex.  My deepest darkest fantasy is unthinkable until much after sex.

I find it interesting to see which elements are still the same for me and which have changed.  Obviously I no longer see spanking as something that must come "much after sex."  Grin.  That would make spanking parties tricky--or perhaps just more active.  And I'm not as secretive or selective about sharing this part of my identity.  I don't flaunt it (my profession and other relationships don't quite allow for that), but I'm more open about it with vanilla friends who are safe.  And I've found that the more open I am, the more I find like-minded people.

Still, there are more similarities than differences.  Though I had yet to experience a relationship with spanking at the core, my statements of identity and desire are still very true.  I do want a dominant man to spank me sexually and spank me for punishment.  I had no idea about the complexities of incorporating punishment into a long-term relationship when I wrote that, but those words are still at the heart of my kink.

It's also interesting for me to look back at the process of my becoming who I am today.  Sometimes I forget how hard-fought each step was.  But this entry was monumental: I was acknowledging the truth to myself in ink and I was no longer ashamed of it.  I also see elements of what was to be, in terms of noticing other dominant-type men around me and acknowledging my reaction to them.  Seeds of what was to come...

Posted by iris_731 on 17 October 2009 at 05:28 PM in Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

A Real Punishment

It's been a long time since I've earned a real punishment.  Sure, I've been smacked and scolded; I've mouthed off and stuck out my tongue; I've transgressed minor rules and even gotten hairbrushed a little.  But a real, serious, big-time punishment?  It's been a while.

So when I got a text message from M on Monday, I was nervous.  The text said, "When you get home you are to change into your plaid skirt and a white shirt and wait for me."  Gulp.  Wouldn't you have been a little nervous?

Continue reading "A Real Punishment" »

Posted by iris_731 on 14 May 2008 at 09:50 PM in Iris, Rules, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)

How sparkle and Chris did not save my ass

It doesn't really seem fair to get spanked when one has company.  I mean, hospitality and propriety mean something, right?  So it seems even less fair to get spanked in front of company.

Even if they're kinky company.

Even if they're kinky, into-discipline company. 

Even if both members of said company have spanked me in the past.

Continue reading "How sparkle and Chris did not save my ass" »

Posted by iris_731 on 23 December 2007 at 10:11 PM in Iris, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

Kinks in Our Punishment Kink: Insecurity

One of the best things about the Punishment Book, in my opinion, is that among the eight of us authors, we have a lot of years of scene experience.  Some of us have been part of the online community from its earliest seeds.  Some of us are regular party-goers.  Some of us are well-respected authors.  All of us have spent years coming to terms with our kink: running from it, refining it, chiding ourselves, feeling the warm rush of acceptance (from ourselves and others), nurturing others, relishing it, and living with a strongly empowered sense of identity.

And after all those years of struggle?  Ta da!  We're all accomplished scene advisors.  We have individual web sites and all contribute to this highly respected blog.  Which must mean that we're all completely over the insecurities of this kinky identity, right?

Continue reading "Kinks in Our Punishment Kink: Insecurity" »

Posted by iris_731 on 22 October 2007 at 08:13 PM in Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

Out of Whack

M and I got back from Shadow Lane a little over a week ago, and I've had lots to think about since then.  I had a wonderful time there: saw lots of old friends, met some new ones, and got to play with people I like very much.  This hasn't always been my preferred (ahem) position at parties.  For a long time I only went to socialize; I didn't want to play with anyone other than my primary partner.  That has to do with an experience from a long time ago that did not happen at a party but colored my opinion about public play.

Anyway, I've changed my tune and now very much enjoy playing with a few people at parties.

Continue reading "Out of Whack" »

Posted by iris_731 on 11 September 2007 at 10:08 PM in Iris, Musings, Slice of life, Travel | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

You want to spank me with WHAT?

I've been trying to compose a detailed post catching everyone up on my life, but it's taking too much time and getting too long-winded.  So here's the update: M and I are back together.  And doing very well.  We are reincorporating discipline back into our relationship (though Chris still has disciplinary power too--now I have multiple tops watching me!).  And M has decided that he needs to spank me as close in time to my transgressions as possible.  Which means, given my living quarters, that we need a very quiet implement.

Sigh.  Show of hands: does anyone know what the quietest spanking implement in the world is?

Continue reading "You want to spank me with WHAT?" »

Posted by iris_731 on 24 July 2007 at 12:24 AM in Implements, Iris, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (44) | TrackBack (0)

What's the difference?

I've been reading lots of posts lately, from Haron, from Mija, from Ree, and from Chris, and I've been wondering:

What makes a punishment a punishment?

Continue reading "What's the difference?" »

Posted by iris_731 on 13 February 2007 at 09:38 PM in FAQ, Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBack (0)

Be careful what you wish for

It seems like only yesterday that I was posting here about desperately needing to be spanked.  So given the title of this post, guess what I'm writing about today? 

Yep, I've been spanked.  Several times, actually, and not fun ones either.  Serious punishments.

But if you've been paying attention in the last few months, your next question might well be, "Who could have punished Iris, given the fact that she's no longer in a disciplinary relationship?"  Or perhaps, "Who could have punished that sweet angel Iris?--she's absolutely delightful!"  Or maybe not.  :-D

Continue reading "Be careful what you wish for" »

Posted by iris_731 on 10 January 2007 at 09:07 PM in Iris, Rules, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (20) | TrackBack (0)

What now?

Have you ever felt like you just had to be spanked or you would burst?  Like you wanted to fling yourself over the lap of the nearest toppy person (creepy neighbors excluded) and beg them to spank you soundly?  Or like you wanted to throw a tantrum in the middle of the street just so that someone would grab your ear and drag you off to be spanked?

Um, I have.

Continue reading "What now?" »

Posted by iris_731 on 14 December 2006 at 08:45 AM in Fantasy, Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (31) | TrackBack (0)

Spanko Calendar

I was just researching dates for a rather unusual calendar that I'm giving someone for Christmas (you can personalize it with anything you want) and I discovered some dates for 2007 that might be of general interest to this group.

February 10: National (International?) Plimsoll Day  --  And I know just how to celebrate!

April 30 (USA): National Spank Out Day  --  No idea what this is, but it sounds delightful.  It also happens to be National Honesty Day, which might not be as good for some people.

These are the ones I found so far.  Anyone else have any fun ones to add?

Posted by iris_731 on 27 November 2006 at 10:15 PM in Iris, Musings, Surreal | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

A Different Kind of Post

I've been debating about whether or not to write this post for several weeks, but I've decided that I think it could be both really good for conversation and really good for me to write out.  So here it is.

After more than two years of being in a relationship that included discipline, I now find myself without it.  Without discipline and without the relationship, that is.  (And actually, I moved into my relationship with M from another one that incorporated discipline, so I guess that means it's been about three and a half years since I've been on my own in that sense.)  Aside from the normal gut-wrenching, soul-piercing pain that accompanies any break up, I'm also dealing with the loss of any practical application of discipline in my life.  At this point I'm still dealing with a lot of the initial grief and the loss of discipline feels kind of minor.  But it's starting to raise its head in small ways.

Continue reading "A Different Kind of Post" »

Posted by iris_731 on 16 November 2006 at 11:07 PM in Discipline, Iris, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)

Lady in Red

I'm a procrastinator.  Often I say things like "Deadlines are good for me" and, "I work well under pressure," and both of those are true.  It's also true that I procrastinate--an awful lot. 

So it's no real surprise that I needed help getting this one last paper done.  (Yes, I'm finished with my degree, but this is something else.  Don't ask.)  And M tried to be helpful by setting a deadline of August 31st, which you'll notice was several days ago.  (discreet cough)  So when it still wasn't done by this past weekend, M decided to take things to a different level.

Continue reading "Lady in Red" »

Posted by iris_731 on 11 September 2006 at 09:39 PM in Education, Iris, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (17) | TrackBack (0)

Needing More

I got spanked yesterday.  Punished, actually.  Last week I'd had a Diet Coke when I wasn't supposed to, yada yada, and he'd pronounced sentence: a sound hairbrushing.  I didn't totally agree with the severity of the punishment, but we talked about it and ended up more or less agreeing.  (Mostly he listened to me patiently and then said, "Yes, but you're still getting spanked.")

So he pulled me over his knee, lifted up my skirt, and pulled down my panties (there's something much more embarrassing about having a thong pulled down--no idea why).  Gave me a slight warm-up with his hand and moved on to the more serious stuff.  He started with a rice paddle, which stung like the dickens (and I HATE sting).  He even used it on my thighs, though he claims those spanks were "light."  Then he moved to a hairbrush and started spanking hard and fast, with no breaks and no mercy.  I was kicking and bucking like crazy, trying to do anything to get out of the path of the brush, but he held on tight and spanked inside my bottom and thighs when I twisted to get away.  And THEN he took the mean hairbrush and did the same thing all over again.  Needless to say, it was a very thorough hairbrushing.

But when he was done and we were snuggling on the bed, I knew I wasn't done.

Continue reading "Needing More" »

Posted by iris_731 on 17 July 2006 at 10:38 PM in Iris, Rules, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (21) | TrackBack (0)

Justice vs. Deterrence

So I'm en route from Minnesota to California, currently in the great state of Utah.  Even though my mom and I are mostly occupied with talking to each other, listening to Harry Potter on tape, and seeing lots of beautiful scenery, I still have a bunch of time to think.  And I've been thinking.  Lately, I've been thinking about the difference between punishments that are the you-earned-this kind and punishments that are the you-are-NEVER-going-to-do-this-again kind. 

Continue reading "Justice vs. Deterrence" »

Posted by iris_731 on 29 June 2006 at 09:52 PM in Discipline, Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)

Memori-able Weekend

I haven't had much in the way of serious punishment spankings lately--for that matter, I haven't had much in the way of any punishment spankings lately.  It was really busy with graduation (family around constantly) and as I noted in a recent comment-on-a-post, I've been feeling prickly about discipline in the last month or so.  I really haven't wanted the vulnerability, so I've kept discipline at arm's length.  And M has been very good about respecting that (not that he had much choice, I suppose).

And then there was last weekend.

I was out in LA visiting, getting a few last things set up before I move out there at the end of the month, but mostly it was a relaxing weekend for the two of us to reconnect.  We haven't had much "us" time recently, and both missed it.  So it was pretty low-key.  And over the course of the weekend I found my smart mouth reasserting itself, my brat side making itself known, and even felt the beginning of a glimmer of a desire to play.  Not, you'll notice, a desire to be punished.  Just a desire to play.  But M's patience can only last so long, and by Tuesday it was at an end.  I was also feeling my oats a little because I hadn't been seriously spanked in so long--this is to explain the otherwise inexplicable lapse in judgment you're about to witness.

We were getting ready on Tuesday morning, him to go to work and me to go running down by the beach.  I was a little tired and perhaps grumpy (? honestly, I have no idea what my problem was) and as he was holding the door open for me to leave, I made some really snippy remark.  Not unkind, I don't think--more in the neighborhood of bratty.  He stopped dead in his tracks and gave me the Look like I haven't seen in weeks.  Which probably should have been my first clue.  However, I was still in my own insulated world and ignored him.  What I did, in fact, was look him straight in the eye as I put on my iPod lanyard and say, "Yeah, like you have the time or inclination to do anything about that right now."

Gulp.  This has to rank as one of the all-time stupidest possible things to say to one's disciplinarian.  Only I really didn't believe he was going to do anything about it right then, because he was running late and I'd been able to um, distract him from spanking me for something else earlier in the weekend.

His eyes sparked fire something fierce, he shut the door calmly, took off my iPod, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the bedroom.  All this time I was, of course, backtracking like crazy, babbling things like, "You're going to be late!  You don't have time!  I didn't mean it!  What are you doing?  You don't have time for this!"  He pulled several nasty things from the toy bag, shucked down my shorts and panties, and tossed me over his knee.  M's usually a pretty methodical, unruffle-able spanker, but this time he gave me no scolding, no warm up, and no breaks.  Yikes!  He started off with what we call the "quiet" hairbrush, so named because it actually makes relatively little noise on impact.  It's small and MEAN (very dense wood) and it was not a fun beginning.  After spanking me for far too long with that, he switched to the leather paddle, then moved to his hand, then paused to make really sure I understood why I was getting spanked and what exactly I could do to avoid a repeat in the near future.  By this time I was willing to avoid a repeat in any future, near or far, so he seemed satisfied with my answers.  And then he got out the two meanest wooden paddles we own and gave me about ten with each!  I was more than sore and sorry by that point, but he pulled me off his lap, gave me a hard hug, and pushed me into the corner, still with shorts and panties around my ankles.

This was a different kind of spanking for a couple reasons: one, M almost never spanks me when he's actually irritated or angry with me, and two, I rarely get put in the corner after a spanking.  Cornertime doesn't get used a whole lot, mostly if he wants to make sure I'm really contrite when he puts me over his knee, and after a spanking it's bordering on unheard-of.  So I knew he was pretty irritated.  I didn't have to stay there long, because he was still late for work, but I didn't get as much snuggling and petting as I usually get either.  Sigh.

This wasn't my favorite kind of spanking (at all), but I figured it sort of broke a barrier between us that had been slowly building for a few weeks.  And I had been a gigantic brat.  By Wednesday morning I was feeling downright chipper.  M and I were back on track, I was figuring things out for the move, I woke up early to go for a run, came back and took a cool shower: life was good.  When I went into the bedroom, naked and still damp from my shower, I was surprised to see M up and dressed.  His mouth was full of mouthwash, but he kissed me anyway and I giggled.  As I walked past him to get some clothes he grabbed my hand to get my attention, reached over into the toy bag, pulled out a hairbrush, and gestured for me to wait.  I honestly couldn't figure out what was going on, since I'd done nothing wrong, so I waited patiently while he spit out the mouthwash.  But when he came back in, sat on the corner of the bed, picked up the hairbrush, and patted his knee, I got suspicious.  "What?" I said.  "What are you doing?"  Suddenly stern, he said, "Did you write down the things in your calendar like we talked about?"

Oh shit.  See, I have these migraine things that come every once in a while.  They're not headaches, they're more like mini-seizures.  They're very well-contained and I haven't even had one in five or six months, but I'd had one on Sunday/Monday.  Ever since I started having them doctors have been telling me to track them so I have a sense of the severity, course, and any patterns.  Well, I know all about the patterns and I have a pretty good idea of when the last one was; if I start having them every 4 hours again, I'll see someone.  Otherwise, there's not much to be done.  Stupid me, I'd casually mentioned to M that I should probably jot the recent ones down and he took that seriously and told me that he'd hairbrush me if I didn't. 

But there were mitigating circumstances, honest!  I didn't have my calendar with me (had left it in MN) and he knew that.  Unfortunately, he had also decreed that I should write it down somewhere else and then transfer the info when I got home.  And I had promptly forgotten.  Completely, blissfully forgotten.  Sigh.  So I got hairbrushed.  Harder than I wanted, on an already sore bottom, and in the middle of what had started off as a perfectly lovely morning.

I know there's another, better reason to celebrate Memorial Day weekend, but somehow I think this one may rank up there in our personal history. 

Oh, and I transferred the data into my calendar this morning.

Posted by iris_731 on 01 June 2006 at 04:49 PM in Health, Iris, Slice of life | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

Layers of Trust

I've been thinking a bit lately about trust and the role it plays in a disciplinary relationship.  Obviously you have to trust a disciplinarian with basic things like safety and consent, but there are other issues that go along with it.  Discipline is a very deep thing for me--much deeper than (though linked to) sex.  In my pre-M days, I used to muse about whether I'd find a vanilla partner and how I'd convert them.  I even dated a few people without telling them about my need for spanking at all, and these were people with whom I was sexually active.  I was willing to have sex with them, but not to let them spank me.  Sex is a less intimate activity for me than spanking, and MUCH less intimate than discipline.  To have sex with someone I only have to be attracted to them and aroused--and trust them.  But to allow someone to spank me, especially for punishment, means that I am handing them my whole self in a little ball and asking them to be careful with it, please.

The other part of these trust musings has to do with my vanilla friends and family.  Of all the people I know in the world, maybe 10% know about my spanking side.  And outside of others in the scene, NO ONE knows about the discipline part.  Not one.  Not my best friend who knows about Shadow Lane and asks about it, not my sister, no one.  Which means there's a whole other layer of trust around punishment spankings.  Somehow it's ok if they think I do this for sex, but not ok if they know I do this for real things.

I'm not sure there's a point to this, I've just been thinking about it.  Anyone else have thoughts?

Posted by iris_731 on 23 May 2006 at 06:47 PM in FAQ, Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)

A Brief History of Iris

At the risk of sounding redundant, I'll begin my post like Dyke Grrl and say how tickled I am to be asked to join the outstanding group of women who founded the Punishment Book.  It's both an honor and a joy, since there are so few venues for intelligent conversation about what we do.  Thank you all for the invitation.

Now.  On to introductions.  First, the stats: I'm in my late 20s, currently living in Minnesota, days (hours!) away from receiving my graduate degree, and getting ready to move to Los Angeles.  I'm a Midwestern girl, born and raised, so California will be a whole new adventure.  While I'll admit I'm not terribly fond of LA or Southern California, there are some people there I like very much--one in particular.  M and I have been dating for something like two years (depends on if you count from when we started dating or when we met), and it's going to be wonderful to be in the same metropolitan area.  We're going to be able to have dinner together and not have to plan it several months in advance!  :-)

Enough of the vanilla details.  I've been into spanking just about as long as I can remember.  The spines of many of my childhood books are creased at the parts where spanking occurs (M is always amazed when we come across books in stores and I can flip quickly to a spanking scene).  Fast foward 15 years to college, where I convinced my vanilla boyfriend to spank me as foreplay.  In retrospect I realize that he took to it like a duck to water, but I was always self-conscious and sure that I was the only one who got anything out of it.

After college I moved to Chicago where I discovered Crimson Moon and began to realize that my kink was not only normal, it was something to celebrate!  Yet I still had these nagging thoughts about discipline: I fantasized about it, wondered about it, craved it.  I entered into a wonderful relationship with Yoni and Tasha, who are now the owners of Bum Rap.  Yoni helped me start to understand my need for discipline and let me see that I could have it in an adult relationship and it didn't make me less mature or adult--it's just part of who I am.  (I still struggle with that sometimes; see below.)

And THEN I met M, which brings me to now.  How and where does discipline fit in my life at this point?  For one, I'm still discovering that it's much different in a relationship than in my head.  And it's very different in a long-distance relationship than in a regular, close-by one.  M and I are negotiating what it looks like for us.  He has been in the scene for a number of years but always swore he would only spank for pleasure.  As has been noted by some people, though, I could convert Gandhi into a disciplinarian. :-D   And M is adjusting to his role as top remarkably well. 

At the heart of it all for me is a need for security.  Parts of my growing up were really unstable and full of tension and I think I crave stability, security, and forgiveness.  When a spanking is over, it's over.  I've been held accountable, punished, and forgiven.  There's also the knowledge that someone is watching out for me, which means that my behavior and my Self matter to someone, that they care what I do and what happens to me. 

And there's something else, something intangible that I can't quite explain.  Every once in a while I need a big spanking "to clear out all the cobwebs," M says.  The daily stuff of life accumulates and I need to sweep it all out.  These are different from regular punishment spankings, which are for one specific issue (sometimes more), but they're the same in terms of the effect they have on me.  I feel lighter, clearer, and very very loved.  It's still one of the hardest things to admit to myself, that I need to be spanked.  If anyone else has thoughts on this, I'd welcome discussion. 

So that's mostly about me.  My mushy, end-of-semester brain will probably think of more to add as soon as I post this, but I do want to get something up by way of introduction. 

Warm blessings!

Posted by iris_731 on 18 May 2006 at 04:47 PM in About the PB, Iris, Musings | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)

Changes to the PB

Okay, this first bit is just something I wanted to mention in passing.  Even though you're very quiet, we know there are a lot of you here and you come pretty often.  Confession?  There's a stat counter here and so we know about 1200 of you a day land here.  And some of you stay for quite a while (more than two hours) and come back daily to check in on the happenings.  Go ahead, say something!  we know it seems like we just enjoy talking to ourselves, but we really would love to hear your point of view on whatever.  In my case at least, even if you think this is a bit (or a lot) freaky.  We're veterans of usenet... you'll have a hard time offending us, and even if you do we'll probably still answer you.  Go on.  You don't even need to put a real email address ([email protected] will work). 

So onto the changes.  Smallest first.  The links have been redone reflecting that more of us have scene-related sites and so do our partners.  So there's now a section called "Our Other Sites."  We've added a link to Haron and Abel's new blog, The Spanking Writers, and also one to sparkle's husband's site, Chris' Firehouse.  It's really cool to get our partners' perspectives, sometimes on the same subject or scene being discussed here. 

Big change?  We've added two new (well, new to us) authors to the PB.  They'll be posting their own introductions sometime in the next month or so (we're not big on deadlines), but it's fun to build the anticipation, right?  So here's an introduction to their introductions!

Dyke Grrl, who some us know from our days on soc.sexuality.spanking, has had her own blog about spanking and life, Breathing In & Breathing Out.  If you want to know more about her, you can either go to her blog and read.  Or wait with breathless anticipation here. In any case, we're delighted she wanted to join us!

In the interest of diversity and also because she's witty and a great writer, we've added Iris Bloom who we don't know from our (mostly) beloved newsgroup.  Iris first appeared here in our comments and it was only later that I (see I can almost never keep up the "we" voice for a whole post) realized I knew her partner from years ago adventures at some Shadow Lane parties.  Iris was the author of the BDSM survey (Mija's answers are here) that seems to have become a small meme.  If you want to know more about Iris, well, she has no blog that I know of so you're just going to have to wait until she shows herself.  I know I'm excited!

And so there you are.  Change is good.

Posted by Mija on 18 May 2006 at 05:39 AM in About the PB, Dyke Grrl, Iris | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)

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